Hi, I’m your new neighbor…and I’m crazy.

Dear Crazy-Neighbor-Lady-Who-Just-Moved-Into-the-Building-Next-To-Us,

Might I start off by saying that I am usually a very gracious woman and am probably even best known as the neighbor most likely to share the goods from our almost weekly baking sessions. I think despite the scream-y girls, we are pretty decent people to live next to, and we try very hard to be accommodating, helpful and cognizant of our neighbors’ needs.

However, just because you managed to tell me the torrid details of your messy divorce and custody battle over one of your children, within the first five minutes of our meeting, I do not consider this just cause for us to be best friends, nor do our children need to be best friends.

And wanting to take a “peek” at our place (even after my insistence that our place was a wreck and full of moving boxes) does not give you, or your so-called monster child, just cause to tear through our house and leave a wake of destruction behind. I mean, really, how does one 5-year old boy manage to pull out every toy my girls own, in a matter of 10 minutes? And more importantly, why did you not stop him, or at least pretend like you were listening while I tactfully asked him to help pick up all of the toys they took out/not terrorize the cats/stay out of our bedroom?

I’d like to point out for the record, sitting perched up in your Hummer and talking about what cars other people drive and why they don’t have nicer cars if they seem to have so much money, it just makes you seem very petty and kind of sad.

And lastly, why on earth would you leave your son at my house for a “playdate” when my sitter answers the door and I am clearly not at home? This is a woman you have never even met (I mean you and I have only ever spoken for a total of 10 minutes, once last week!), who I am paying to watch MY children, (not your little demon) and you just let him stay-over? Are you really that insane?

Maybe I should not be so quick to judge. I know that you have a kind-of new baby, so maybe you just have “baby brain” and are still in the newborn fog. Is that it? Or are you just desperate to get rid of him on the one day of the week that you have to put up with him, too?

All I do know is that if I were a neighbor, I’d take 2 screechy girls over a crazy, judgmental mom looking for free babysitting, any day!

Your (happy-to-be) soon ex-neighbor


4 Responses to “Hi, I’m your new neighbor…and I’m crazy.”

  1. 1 Kimmer March 30, 2007 at 1:24 pm


  2. 2 Anthony March 31, 2007 at 4:11 am

    Wow, I thought I’ve had some pretty crazy neighbors over the years, but nothing compares to what you’ve just described.

    Journey Through Divorce

  3. 3 Colleen March 31, 2007 at 4:28 pm

    As I was reading this I was so afraid that this was your new neighbor that you were describing!!! I was relieved it was the soon to be ex. Good luck with your new neighbors!

  1. 1 If she could see us now… « Barely Controlled Chaos Trackback on August 12, 2007 at 6:52 am

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