Next time, please stay home.

Dear Fellow Yogi –

First off, do you have any idea how much I was looking forward to a quiet, relaxing hour of peace this morning when I arrived at yoga class?

I think you clearly did not. Otherwise you wouldn’t have come noisily into class late, dropping keys and shoes, and then proceeded to roll out your yoga mat practically on top of mine. Have you ever heard of a little thing called personal space? My moving my mat over didn’t give you a little hint that maybe your butt a mere 6 inches from my face was a little too close?

And the breathing. My God, the breathing! Your obscenely loud, Darth Vader-like inhales and exhales were unnerving, distracting and just about enough to put me over the edge. I just wanted to punch you in the throat. (Yes, that was how “at peace” I was – about as far from a Zen-like state as you can possibly get.)

And it wasn’t just me who was astonished by the noise emanating from you. Most of the heads in the class at one point or another, swiveled around trying to shoot a dirty look at the offending perpetrator. And I’m quite certain some of them thought the noise was originating from me. So thanks for that, too.

All in all, just wanted to commend you for turning my usually favorite hour of the week, into a completely unfulfilled disaster.

Most Insincerely Yours,


3 Responses to “Next time, please stay home.”

  1. 1 msscatter June 22, 2007 at 8:24 am

    Sorry your “moment” was ruined by an insensitive fool.

  2. 2 Matthew June 22, 2007 at 11:04 am

    Wow. Never been to yoga, but isn’t the quiet, relaxing atmosphere kind of the point?

  3. 3 Colleen July 1, 2007 at 5:15 am

    I saw this youtube video and thought of you…

    (I hope the link works)

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