If she could see us now…

So apparently, we have a crazy old biddy that lives next door to us. Yes, I know what you are thinking, “Didn’t they have crazy neighbors before they moved, too?”

We did. This one and that one.

You might also be thinking right about now, “Maybe it isn’t so much the neighbors?” Believe me, I’ve beat you to it. And albeit I am a little crazy, I’d like to believe that I’m not completely psychotic and try pretty hard to not be a nosy, meddling neighbor. (Well, maybe a little nosy…but no meddly!)

So our friendly neighbor thought it prudent to call the owner of the house and tattle on the property managers because they have not fixed the very large tear in the screen in Emma’s bedroom, which obviously faces her house.

The ripped screen has been there since we first moved into the house. Since we have had the a/c on most of the time, the screen hasn’t really affected our life too much, and I haven’t made a big stink about it. Last week on the rare day that it was actually cooler outside than it was in our house, I gave the a/c a break, opened all the windows upstairs and “aired” it out. The girls popped into the bath and as we were in Em’s room putting on pjs, Emma ran to the window calling to the (crazy) neighbor’s dog. “Hi doggy, HI DOGGY!” And of course as soon as A. heard the word “dog” (see previous post) she went running to the window as well.

Now first of all, Em did put her hand out through the screen. Her hand. And her head was at the top of the tear in the screen. But her head, nor the rest of her body did not break the plane of the window. Just her hand. She was not, say… “hanging” out of the window or anything. And secondly, I was right there in the room and I promptly told both of them to 1.) get away from the window and 2.) stop antagonizing the dog.

They complied (amazingly, I know) and we all went downstairs for snack and down time before bed. Came back up, I shut up their windows while they brushed teeth and picked out books. Still with me?

Ok. So I get a call from the property manager of our house, and she had gotten a call from the owner of the house who was upset because he had gotten a call from crazy-old-lady-neighbor. Got all that? Yeah, so crazy lady told the owner that the screens hadn’t been fixed and there were kids falling out of the windows.

Naturally, and understandably, the owner was upset and worried. After I assured the property manager that no such thing was happening, I got the scoop that she (crazy) has tried to stir up trouble like this before and the property manager told me not to worry about it too much, just kind of be aware that she is “watching” us.

There are just so many things wrong with this on so many levels. First and foremost, I have never even MET this woman. Don’t know her name (unless you can count “crazy”). Couldn’t even tell you what she looks like. And she clearly does not know anything about us, me, either.

I told the property manager that I really felt like it was an affront to my parenting, coming from someone who doesn’t even know me. That stings. If she had any idea about how completely paranoid I am about the stairs (I fell down them once – they are HARD spanish tile!), we have gates at the top and bottom, and the girls are never allowed upstairs without us. Really the only time they are up there is to sleep or take a bath. It just made me so very angry. So now the owner thinks that living in his house is some “trailer-trash, Britney Spears-like mother” letting her children run free and dangle out of the second-story windows.

Ugh. Not only that, she can spy on us and see that I made breakfast-type food for dinner tonight.

*Gasp!* Feeding children egg frittata for dinner. (Ah, who am I kidding? I’m not winning any mother-of-the-year awards. It was actually scrambled eggs with cheese. There. Now you know.)

And the girls ate their dinner in their underwear! For shame. (In my defense, they don’t usually do this, they were playing in the pool and when we came in to make our dinner, they just stripped all of their wet clothes off. I figured they were going up to take a bath and I wasn’t dirtying any more outfits for the 15 minutes it took to eat our eggs one-course feast.)

Maybe we should just have a little fun with this and see how much we can really offend her.

I’m only worried if she gets to spying for too long, she just might call child services on me.


5 Responses to “If she could see us now…”

  1. 1 michelle August 12, 2007 at 11:30 am

    Maybe the solution for this is to invite her over for our Friday afternoon shin-digs. Can she be won over ? … Maybe she just wants to be wooed……(needs to be wooed) by a fantastic cheesy egg! Clearly she has too much time on her hands .
    If she only knew that you DO deserve the “Mother of the Year award”.

  2. 2 msscatter August 13, 2007 at 4:27 am

    I agree with Michelle that she clearly has too much time on her hands. She sounds like my MIL who always makes a story sound much more interesting than it really is. I think she’s just trying to draw attention to herself but not cause harm to you.

  3. 3 Christina August 13, 2007 at 8:13 pm

    Wow. She’s a crazy one alright. The others are probably right that she’s lonely and desperate for attention and means no harm,…but still. Yikes.

  4. 4 Elisa August 14, 2007 at 7:38 pm

    I feel your pain….that is just so annoying and just plain icky! Had a neighbor like that once growing up and it was plain creepy!! The houses were not very far apart and while she couldn’t see much of what was going on – it was sooo unnerving to look up at the window and see her peering (or leering) over. Inviting her to your home might win her over but it might be an invite for her to spy more up close and personally! (or to be a too frequent drop-in visitor) I’d go for the occasional random act of kindness – cute colored pictures by the kids, a small bunch of freshly picked flowers, a muffin with a “have a good day” card….all anonymous. Maybe she’ll get so busy watching her front door for suprises, she’ll quit spying on you!!!

  5. 5 Laura McIntyre August 14, 2007 at 11:10 pm

    Oh you bad mum you, why do people think these things are any of there business? I mean i can understand if something was actually going on but come on. My parents neighbour growing up used to tell on my sister and i for everything, one threatning to call social services because my sister and a friend camped out (in the back garden) . I do omelletts for dinner to sometimes

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