Cranky Coffee Cup

I’m sure you are aware of my major slight obsession with Starbucks, and if you aren’t, well…let’s just say the friendly baristas at one (of the twenty) Starbucks in our area know exactly how I like my coffee, before I even tell them. (Venti non-fat, no whip, mocha with extra foam – thank you very much. In case you are coming to visit and would like to bring a hostess gift, a Grande version will also be acceptable.)

But on Tuesdays and Thursdays, I usually take my laptop and go out to work, since it has been proven that working from the next room while the sitter is with the girls, well, that just doesn’t really “work” – for me, at least. So, Starbucks it is. I like the taste of their coffee and they don’t mind while I hunker down for a few hours in one of the tables near a power source for my laptop.

I was very excited when I saw the Starbucks Oracle (thanks …And the Duck Said!) and what did this Oracle have to say about me and my personality, according to my drink?!

I’m…high maintenance.

I am so very much in denial about this forecasting. I pride myself on being very low maintenance, in fact. This is what it said for me:

You pride yourself on being assertive and direct; everyone else thinks you’re bossy and arrogant. You’re constantly running your mouth about topics that only you would find interesting. Your capacity for wasting other people’s time is limitless. Your friends find you intolerable, that’s why they’re plotting to kill you.

Also drinks: Water. Bottled, chilled, with four ice cubes, a twist of lemon, in a crystal glass.
Can also be found at: Trendy martini bars

R-e-e-a-a-l-l-y? I do know many who fit the above description, but I don’t think it applies to me. (Any of my “plotting” friends out there want to chime in?)

Clearly the Oracle is full of something…and it isn’t coffee, because we all know that coffee makes us mellow and very happy. And the Oracle appears to be a bitter old miser.

Your mission, my fellow Starbucks junkies, go see what the Oracle says about you and report back.


7 Responses to “Cranky Coffee Cup”

  1. 1 Sue Richards November 26, 2007 at 1:17 am

    Coffee puts the system under the strain of metabolizing a deadly acid-forming drug, depositing its insoluble cellulose, which cements the wall of the liver, causing this vital organ to swell to twice its proper size. In addition, coffee is heavily sprayed. (Ninety-two pesticides are applied to its leaves.) Diuretic properties of caffeine cause potassium and other minerals to be flushed from the body.

    All this fear went away when I quit, and it was a book that inspired me to do it called The Truth About Caffeine by Marina Kushner. There are five things I liked about this book:

    1) It details–thoroughly–the ways in which caffeine may damage your health.

    2) It reveals the damage that coffee does to the environment. Specifically, coffee was once grown in the shade, so that trees were left in place. Then sun coffee was introduced, allowing greater yields but contributing to the destruction of rain forests. I haven’t seen this mentioned anywhere else.

    3) It explains how best to go off coffee. This is important. If you try cold turkey, as most people probably do, the withdrawal symptoms will likely drive you right back to coffee.

    4) Helped me find a great resource for the latest studies at

    5) Also, if you drink decaf you won’t want to miss this special free report on the dangers of decaf available at

  2. 2 ksmcnulty November 26, 2007 at 6:01 am

    Wow!! There is NOTHING about that little brief that describes you Care! So, don’t take it to heart. I’ve never seen you bossy or have I ever considered you intolerable. IGNORE–IGNORE!

  3. 3 msscatter November 26, 2007 at 6:16 am

    Exactly what Kimmer said!

  4. 4 Christina November 26, 2007 at 6:16 am

    Well, I’ve never met you in person, but I’ve NEVER had the impression that you’re bossy and arrogant! Intolerable? Wasting peoples time? Friends plotting to kill you? Ummm, no. Not the Carrie I “know.” So don’t sweat it. That is crazy tho. Almost makes me glad I’m not a Starbucks drinker, so the Oracle can’t misidentify me!

  5. 5 Michelle November 26, 2007 at 8:36 am


    The Oracle gave you an opposite reading! It only leaves your true friends plotting to kill the Oracle…..not you! : )
    So Happy that you have had a great trip…….for for ….the Lords sake….ok if only for mine….COME HOME! Would YA? We miss you here so very much. Not to mention how much my kids miss your kids! All this to say…Don’t forget that you are also loved in California and………….p.s. the Oracle said the same thing about me..but about those Martini Bars…”Two White Godiva Martinis Please”!

  6. 6 Maggie November 26, 2007 at 12:49 pm

    It sounds like Sue Richards thinks that she’s going to scare you off coffee!

    Don’t worry about what the oracle said – it said I was lame and clueless (maybe) and a stripper. Which is clearly not true, because that would just be all sorts of wrong.

    I have to agree, the oracle is a little cranky!

  7. 7 Vicky November 27, 2007 at 9:51 am

    Here’s mine . . . and yes, I am clueless when it comes to coffee shops!

    Personality type: Clueless

    You don’t go to Starbucks much; when you do you just tag along with other people since you have nothing better to do. You would like to order a Tazo Chai Crème but don’t know how to pronounce it. Most people who drink Tall Skinny Caramel Latte are strippers.

    Also drinks: Wine coolers
    Can also be found at: The mall

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